What I learned this year

1. Shit happens. Try as you might to perceive it as roses--or reconceive its odor as pleasant--or realize that it is a part of the universe that is as necessary as any other part--or what have you--it's shit and it stinks and you'd rather not have to deal with it. It's normal to feel sad and angry about that.
   

   
   

2. When--not if--it happens, you have to deal with it. Ignoring it is also a way of dealing with it. Depending on the problem, ignoring it may have serious long-term consequences. But you can (and often should) ignore it, between the other steps of dealing with it. Keep living your life and enjoying whatever segments or aspects of it remain enjoyable.
   

   
   

3. Worrying is not dealing with it. Worrying is natural but should be minimized because it is only storytelling about possibilities that will later reveal themselves as realities or not. Such storytelling is exhausting and only takes energy that you will need later to deal with the realities. And of course the bad realities might not even happen, in which case the whole storytelling time has been (mis)spent on creating something terrible and false.
   

   
   

4. Worrying about shit that someone else has to deal with is the ultimate waste of time and energy that you could use to help and comfort them. It is natural to worry about people you love. Minimize it, and love them instead.